Photograph by
M. Fearghail from House Mountain on 11/4/2006.
Okay, dear reader, this
one will be more personal. Get ready!
Imagine the Appalachian
Irishman standing on a bluff on My
Mountain. The day is clear
and crisp. The photo above depicts the scene below. Hawks fly about.
Can the Appalachian
Irishman, in this setting, both curse freely and then pray calmly, in
a span of minutes? Yes, of course, he can. As Mark Twain said, “Under
certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer”
(A Biography). A good
cussin’ purges the soul and lowers the blood pressure, at times,
better than the most eloquently worded prayer.
Does God understand? Yes,
of course. He is a God of grace.
Three months after
returning from mission work in Russia, my mother, at the relatively
young age of 67, was stricken by a yearlong suffering that involved
two illnesses. As she recovered from the first, the other took
her—suddenly, unexpectedly,
unfairly.
Since then, I have not
served in full-time ministry. My zeal was poured out of me, by the
hole cut into my bowels, the seat of emotion. Over eight years have
passed, and I still struggle.
Do not bother with the
religious platitudes. I have studied, written, and spoken on the
problem of evil. Remember, I dealt with atheists in Russia! Deep
inside, I am still angry with God, despite my theological
understanding; although, the anger has cooled over the years. Why
must she die at that time, in that terrible way, when we needed her
so badly?
Complicating the issue is
the haughty stance of the Church of Christ, of which I was a part for
so many years. You see, the arrogant Church of Christ member would
consign my mother to hell, because her views, as a Baptist, on such
doctrinal points as baptism, worship, church organization, and ad
nauseam conflict with his interpretation of
scripture.
For over seven years after
Mom’s passing, I continued to attend local Churches of Christ, but
I was uncomfortable. Their beliefs, by implication, sent my mother to
hell. I also struggled through the faith challenge that followed her
passing. I was the outsider, as I sat within their walls each Sunday.
Not wishing to “rock the boat,” I kept quiet. To attend is better
than not, I reasoned.
Well, last year, I finally
left the Church of Christ, while remaining a part of Christ’s
church. My mother, whose sincere faith inspired me, was a faithful
Christian, under the Baptist tradition. She did not die and go to
hell for any doctrinal misunderstanding. She, in her genuine faith,
was saved by God’s grace. Perhaps her doctrinal understanding was
not perfect, but whose is? Her faith, her love for our Father, and
her lifelong example of Christ living in her as a reflection of his
grace were undeniable. As such, she was a Christian, saved by God’s
grace through her genuine, if imperfect, faith. No superficial Church
of Christ interpretation of grace will deny that reality.
I still believe, because
my mother believed, and because I know Him. As the father of the
stricken child, in Mark 9:24, cried, “Lord,
I believe; help my unbelief!”
The Appalachian Irishman
hasn’t had time, with a burdensome schedule, to climb House
Mountain, to curse and pray. Perhaps this is his way of doing so, off
the mountain.
Thanks for listening.