Big Brother Got Me! (published 3-1-2009; updated 11-1-2022)

Well, it had to happen! Big Brother got the Appalachian Irishman – caught on candid, not-a-real-cop, but-we're-goin'-to-make-a-buck camera!

Yeah, yeah, so I did run the red light! As I recall, the yellow light was on when I started under. It must have lasted 0.62 seconds. Of course, as most vile criminals of my ilk state, the guy behind me would have eaten bumper, if I had come screeching to a halt at the light!

Worse, yet, when I paid cash for my little truck eight years ago, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and her sister had to pick him up, after I had left the salesman, who had needed to make a sale, weeping at his desk. (I had to get to work.) For some reason, the ditsy get-the-tag person had placed Mrs. Appalachian Irishman’s name above mine on the title. I suppose since she picked up the truck. So, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman, who arrived home before I did, was quite perturbed when the ticket came in her name! Yeah, okay, I’ll pay the stinking $50.00 fine and ask Big Brother to put my name first on the title. I have to live with the little lady, you know.

Entrepreneurial idea: Could someone out there create some type of product that would not allow these socialist cameras to read your license plate? Of course, the plate must still be legible to the naked eye. Any ideas?

By the way, let’s brag on my truck. We paid cash for him eight years ago, when he was six years old. He had about 84,000 miles on him. Now, he has over 222,000 miles on the clock. He doesn't use oil. He starts right up. He's a Nissan, built in Tennessee.

Does anyone still want to bail out the American motor companies? Another idea: since we, the lowly taxpayer, must bail out these companies, why don’t we demand a new vehicle, after they straighten out their mess and become profitable again? Don’t hold your breath.

11/1/2022, Tuesday, note: thirteen years have passed, since I published this article. Today, my website analytics showed that someone had viewed this article in the last 24 hours. All I did today was add this note and add the published and updated dates to the original title. I still like what I wrote, on 3/1/2009! I am proud to say that no other speed camera cop has nailed me! I miss my ol' 1995 Nissan hardbody. He died, trying to save my life, on 3/29/2016. His spirit, however, lives on, in my 2006 Nissan Frontier!