TUESDAY, 6/8/2021: “LIFE, SUCH AS IT IS," UPDATE FOR FUN!

Introduction

In the recent article from 5/23/2021, I promised that my next article would be more entertaining. Two important articles are between the one from 5/23/2021 and this one. It took me a while to get to this point of entertainment, but here it is! With an apology to Shirley Temple, “Let me entertain you! Let me make you smile!” Don't worry! I know May 31st was Memorial Day, and Sunday was the anniversary of D-Day. My serious article on those follows this one.

You might want to click the links for some side-click fun! That's why I set up the links. The banty rooster was still growing, apparently. He sounded like me when my voice was changing, when I was about 12.

Crowin' Like a Banty Rooster!

Dad used to tell me, when I was “feelin' my oats” and “braggin' a bit,” that I was “crowin' like a banty rooster.” I enjoyed “Possibly the funniest Bantam Cockerel crow ever!” On Olive Tree Farm (YouTube), 7/21/2014! Sometimes, he said it when he was proud of me. Often times, he said it to “bring me down a notch.” I think that Dad would like the crowin' I do below!

On Sunday, 5/2/2021, I ordered my decorative license plate and frame. It was $35 well spent! On Tuesday, 5/11/2021, I bought and own the “Appalachian Irishman” logo. Another $40 was well spent. The image above is my website logo. I will add it to the main website page. I also used the logo on a decorative license plate that I bought. On Wednesday, 5/19/2021, I received the decorative license plate, with my logo on it.

On Sunday afternoon, 5/23/2021, I finally got around to placing the decorative license plate with the logo on the front plate holder of my new, ol' truck! Eventually, I plan to publish an image of my truck, wearing his new decorative plate and “tars” below.

Okay, Dad, I'm done crowin' now! Are you proud of me? I thought so.

“Tars” for my New, Ol' Truck

“You need some new 'tars,' son,” as Dad would have said. Yes, Dad, I have known that my new, ol' 2006 Nissan Frontier was in need of a new set of “shoes.” The tread was getting thin. Recently, I've kept the song “Pardon Me, Roy, is that the Cat that Chewed Your New Shoes?” in mind. Do you hear, “Pardon me, truck, is that the road that chewed your new tires?” I do!

On Wednesday, 5/18/2021, I asked Express Lube in the Halls area of Knoxville to order a new set of four “tars” that I had selected.

They look like good “tars.” Cooper Tires are made in America. You do not want to know the price. You can't buy a good set of “tars” for $50 a “tar” anymore. “A dollar ain't worth much nowadays.” The “tars” arrived.

On Saturday, 5/22/2021, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I had a little fun. My fine barber and friend, at Tony's Best Clips, gave me another great haircut, while we regaled ourselves in several points of conversation. Afterward, at 11:45 AM, I arrived at Express Lube, hoping to have my new “tars” mounted and balanced.

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman was in line, awaiting an oil change for our 2008 Honda Civic. I knew that she had planned the oil change. Her car got an oil change.

They, however, were too busy with oil changes and others getting new tires. I could have left my truck and gone home in the car with my wife. Later, we could have returned, to get my truck, once the tires were mounted and balanced. No deal!

On 6/3/2021, I had arranged, while working at the office, to work at home the next day. The next day, Friday, I worked at home. I took time off work and got the tires on my truck! It was an Appalachian Irishman victory, despite my “bionic” whatevers. The poles outside the tire shop helped me stretch out my left shoulder, down my left side, and to my left hip. My right foot took the pavement-pounding, while fussing at me.

Molly! Good “Puppy!”

The image below is our “good ol' puppy,” Molly! She and I were hiking on 11/26/2015. She was almost a year old at the time. She still looks about the same now, at five going on six years old. Well, she has adult dog weight now, but Molly is still all muscle!

On Monday, 5/24/2021, my wife and I had our usual chiropractic adjustments. I had needed mine for over a week! Dang, unkink my left shoulder, middle back, and left hip! With apology to Survivor, “the Burning Heart,” it's me against me; it's the paradox that drives me on. When the “whatevers” rise up, as lately, I beat them down again, as usual.

Anyway, after having arrived home, Molly was too busy in the backyard to “come see the man.” Instead, once we were inside, I happened to see Molly! It was about 5 PM. She was in our “back 40.” A yearling deer made the mistake of visiting. Molly, running at “super doggy” speed, almost caught the yearling at the left hind quarter! Molly, my wife, and I almost had venison! Molly would have had the first serving! I wish that I had our video recorder! My mind's eye remembers! Good “puppy!”

Nightly, Molly sleeps in her basement “condominium,” after spending the evening inside with us. About 6:30 AM, my wife fixes Molly's breakfast and lets her out to “guard” the property. About 7:30 AM, I bring Molly her “front porch snack.” She's usually there, tail waging and ready! Molly always gives me a very intelligent look that says, “I love you, man. Thanks for the breakfast snack!” A dog helps a man endure the realities of life!

I use my hands, going against the grain, to get “snow doggys” off Molly in the warm weather. Twice a day is best: morning and evening. She sheds (makes “snow doggys”). I like to see the “snow doggys” pile into clumps in the yard. They look like spots of snow.

In the evenings, once Molly is inside, she first wants to twirl around on the couch. I take off her “doggy necklaces” (collars). Eventually, she goes to the kitchen for “Molly waters,” to get a drink from her water bowl. After a while, once Molly has gone out and come back in, through either the back or front doors, a time or two, it's time for the “Got-Ems” game!

The “Got-Ems” game is fun! I divide six favorite treats into two, to make twelve, plus a “brush your teeth doggy” biscuit. I count to Molly as I divide her treats.

I can't get Mrs. Appalachian Irishman to video record Molly and me, playing the “Got-Ems” game! I've tried. Imagine the following: I'm standing, with “Got-Ems” in hand in the living room, near the steps to Molly's basement condominium. Molly is near my feet. She has “readies!” That is, her eyes are bright and looking up. I toss up, just above her head, one “Got-Em” at a time, counting as we go. Molly catches the most. Sometimes, she has a “tooth bouncer” that lands on the floor or goes down the stairwell, which I retrieve for her. Number 12 is the “finish strongly” final “Got-Em,” before the “toothbrusher” doggy biscuit. I don't know if Molly enjoys the “Got-Ems” game any better than I do! I catch Mrs. Appalachian Irishman smiling at times. Video record us, dear! I wanted to publish the video now!

I Had to Write This, Dear!

I had told Mrs. Appalachian Irishman that I wouldn't write the following. Sorry, dear! I changed my mind!

On Thursday, 5/27/2021, I returned home from working at the office. My wife beat me home from her job. (Her last work day was 6/1/2021. She's on summer break now. I must add that meteorological summer started on 6/1/2021.) The sun was out fully. I came in. My wife was in the kitchen. I said howdy. I noticed that the kitchen light was on, with the blinds still closed. (I'd left them closed, before driving to work, about 7:30 AM, to keep the sun from coming in through the south-side windows. The sun was on the other side of the house now). I open all the south-side window blinds. I turn off the kitchen light. I turn off a lamp in the living room. I wondered. I asked. Well, that was my mistake! I was just “deviling you a bit,” dear!

On Tuesday, 6/2/2021, I was working at home. My wife had her first day of summer vacation. She wanted to run an errand. She couldn't find the keys to our 2008 Honda Civic. Earlier, about 7:45 AM, I had noticed them on the passenger side windshield of the car, which was in the garage. (I'd been visiting with Molly, before work.) Stealthily, I had placed the keys in the microwave, knowing what would eventually happen. At about 11 AM, while I'm working at home, my wife indicated her errand. She looked for the keys. She couldn't find them. She looked in the garage. No keys were on or inside the car. I took a break from work. What are you doing, dear? Trying to find your keys? Look in the microwave! Well, I got a smile on that one! She decided not to rake me across the coals! I was lucky!

By the way, dear, this is my third article, since I “hid” your anniversary card, on 5/16/2021. Will you ever find it? Did you find it? If so, has the “cat got your tongue?” I look forward to your pithy comment, if you ever get around to it!

By the way, I love you, dear! If I didn't, I wouldn't “devil you” with my humor as much! Thanks for being the “long-suffering” Mrs. Appalachian Irishman.

Conclusion

Comedy is the best medicine. I use my verbal and written artistic talent (i.e., my blarney) and sarcastic sense of humor, as one way to endure the realities of life. Life is good. Life is bad. It varies.

Use the everlasting perspective to place this temporal life in the context of everlasting life. That's the best way to cope with life realities, when they are “not too good,” as Hoyt would say, on John Boy and Billy.

By the way, why do folks drive all that way and do whatever they do, to get tickets to the Smoky Mountain lightning bug show? No, they are not “fire flies!” I can watch lightning bugs from our deck. Come on, man! I thought that you might like that as an ending.