Translations

Wednesday, July 24, 2024

If Christmas is in July, why not have Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June? (published 7-24-2024; article #485)

 

Introduction

That's a good question. If Christmas is in July, why not have Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June? This 115th entry in the humor topic section answers the burning question. The snowman, in the above image, must have melted quickly.

Skimming through thousands of television channels, trying to find anything good to watch, I notice hundreds of Christmas movies and Christmas shopping shows. It's July! Christmas is five months away. Who needs Christmas in July? Who agrees with me?

Why Ask the Question?

Why do I ask this searing question? I'll explain and blame it on my in-laws.

Independence Day was on a Thursday this month. My in-laws decided to postpone the celebration for two days. On Saturday, July 6th, family gathered to celebrate the 247th anniversary of this nation's declaration of independence from England. Present were my father-in-law, my two sisters-in-law, our niece, my wife's good first cousin, two family friends, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman, and me. Well, three cats and two dogs were around, but they didn't eat at the table. My wife's other first cousin, who had a mild case of gastric distress, secluded himself downstairs.

The television was on, but at a low volume. At first, I didn't notice what was showing. Everyone was talking, while vittles were being prepared. Walking past the television, I noticed that a Christmas movie was on! Who watches Christmas shows in July, and why?

That did it! I had to ask, “If Christmas is in July, why not have Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June?” The question sparked some discussion, but it was never answered exactly.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) Answers

After the family gathering was over and my wife and I were back home, I searched online for an answer. Searching found no relevant results.

I decided to ask Microsoft Copilot (my “everyday AI companion”), “If Christmas is in July, why not have Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June?” My “AI companion” replied as follows:

Ah, the whimsical calendar shuffle! While it’s true that Christmas in July has become a fun tradition in some places, the idea of moving other holidays around is intriguing.

Halloween in May:

  • Picture this: Spring flowers, warm breezes, and kids dressed as little ghouls and goblins. Instead of “trick or treat,” they’d say, “Blossoms or blooms?”

  • May could be the month for “spooky picnics” with pumpkin-shaped sandwiches and ghostly cupcakes. And instead of haunted houses, we’d have enchanted gardens.

Thanksgiving in June:

  • Imagine a summer feast with turkey, cranberry sauce, and beachside bonfires. We’d give thanks for sunscreen and flip-flops!

  • The Pilgrims might have landed on a tropical island, and the Mayflower would be a surfboard.

    Of course, these are just playful ideas. But hey, creativity knows no bounds.

Dissatisfied with Microsoft Copilot's flighty answer that crashed on takeoff, I asked ChatGPT the same question. By the way, research indicates that GPT stands for “Generative Pre-trained Transformer,” in case you were wondering. ChatGPT answered as follows:

That sounds like a fun idea! Celebrating holidays in different months could definitely mix things up and create some excitement throughout the year. Imagine Halloween in May with spring-themed costumes or Thanksgiving in June with a summer feast and outdoor activities. It might feel unusual at first, but it could also add a fresh twist to these traditional celebrations!

I think that Chat Generative Pre-trained Transformer (GPT) blew a circuit or was twisted.

How did Christmas in July Start?

Intrigued, I wondered how Christmas in July had started. I searched online for the answer.

The following two articles interested me: First, “Christmas in July – From Origins to Celebrations and Beyond,” Christmas in America, by anonymous, 3/26/2024, concludes by stating, “In 2024, Christmas in July will be celebrated on Tuesday, July 25th.” That's funny. My calendar tells me that tomorrow is Thursday, July 25th!

Next up is “The Surprising Origin of Christmas in July,” Guideposts, by Kaylin Kaupish, undated. Apparently, in the summer of 1933, the co-founder of Keystone Camp, a summer camp for young ladies, located in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina and near the town of Brevard, came up with the notion of Christmas in July.

Several years ago, crass marketing ploys steamed Christmas in July into the annoyance that it has become. The crass commercialism of Christmas in December is enough! Who needs it in July? The grubbers do not get any of our money!

Conclusion

This article was published on July 24th, the Eve of Christmas in July. Tomorrow, July 25th, is Christmas in July. Will it snow tomorrow? Don't be snowed over by Christmas in July! Ignore all the Christmas movie and shopping channel hype! Do not let peer pressure dupe you into celebrating Christmas in July!

The conclusion of the article from 12/17/2023 states, Remember, the greatest Christmas Gift is not found in stores. Set aside the crass commercialization of Christmas. Remember Christ, the true meaning of Christmas. Christ's Christmas gift is the gift of Himself. It is a free gift. It is available to all, who seek, accept, and live for Him.”

What answers the question, “If Christmas is in July, why not have Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June?” The answer is, “Why not?” Stop celebrating Christmas in July, or start celebrating Halloween in May and Thanksgiving in June! Otherwise, it's prejudice against Halloween and Thanksgiving!

Saturday, July 13, 2024

Breaking News: Bear Sighting in a Neighbor's Backyard! (published 7-13-2024; article #484)

Sunday, 7/14/2024, addendum: I published this article yesterday at 5:54 PM. Eight minutes later, at 6:02 PM, former President Donald Trump took the stage at a fairground in Butler, Pennsylvania. A few minutes afterward, while Trump was speaking to the large crowd, an assassin's bullet grazed Trump's right ear. The following is one of several sources: “A few short minutes after Trump took the stage, shots rang out,” AP News, by Evan Vucci and Julie Carr Smyth, 7/14/2024. How quickly life can change in just over eight minutes! Former President Trump came within millimeters of being assassinated. One attendee died. Two others were critically injured.

Introduction

Almost daily, local television news stations are reporting bear sightings in nearby Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. For example, five days ago, “TWRA and Gatlinburg taking action after incidents involving bears approaching hotel guests,” WBIR-TV, by Staff, 7/8/2024, reported bears that, apparently, wanted to check into a hotel.

I have wondered if Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I would see a bear in our neck of the woods in Corryton, Tennessee. Well, last Tuesday was the day! This breaking news story reports our bear sighting four days ago in a neighbor's backyard! I know. Four-day-old news is not “breaking.” I am merely “poking the bear,” by making fun of the news media and their constant “breaking news” hype, which I heard a day or so before.

Bear Sighting in a Neighbor's Backyard!

On Tuesday morning, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I had been in our backyard. I cleared some small brush and tried, unsuccessfully, to get my old push mower to start. Afterward, my wife went to visit her father and sister, who live nearby. I continued painting the metal door between the utility room and garage, a job that I started the day before.

Late that afternoon, I finished showering when my wife returned home. Having dressed, I happened to look out the glass-pane door that leads to our deck. I saw a small black bear under a shade tree in a neighbor's backyard! Stepping onto the deck with my cell phone camera, I photographed the bear at 4:48 PM, on Tuesday, 7/9/2024. The view looks southwest.

Photograph of a bear in a neighbor's yard, by M. Fearghail, on 7/9/2024, at 4:48 PM.

Thankfully, Molly, our ol' puppy, wasn't in the backyard. I wonder what she would have done. I watched the bear for a while. Eventually, believe it or not, the bear ambled toward the nearby creek and ridge, which are farther south of us, and out of sight.

Conclusion

This brief article is the 114th entry in the humor topic section. Is that a real bear in the photograph? You, dear reader, are the judge. Please share your opinion in the comments! The first person, who answers correctly, will receive my positive reply and comment.

Why didn't I break this news last Tuesday? It took me until Thursday, July 11, to finish painting the door between the utility room and garage. Yesterday, my wife and I hauled off trash and the recycling, and we bought stuff at the nearby Dollar General Store and IGA. This morning, I got the push mower to start, and I mowed the taller green grass just behind and to the sides of the house. We need rain! The grass is more brown than green, except where I mowed. These and other domestic priorities had to come first.

By the way, we moved into our newly constructed house on 6/7/2003. Before moving in, with occasional help from Mrs. Appalachian Irishman, her sister, and two younger brothers, I sanded, caulked, puttied, and painted all the walls, base trim, and doors. Back then, I worked a second-shift job as a computer operator and help desk agent. I worked on our house and then went to work. Saturdays were spent working on the house.

Our house has 23 doors. I painted them all in 2003. Back then, the metal door from the utility room to the garage got only one coat of paint. It needed at least two more. After 21 years, I thought that it was about time to put the other two coats of paint on that door!

Up next is scraping and repainting the two rocking chairs and the glider swing that are on the front porch. Also, a corner of the deck railing needs extra braces. (Last year, strong wind weakened the original braces.) In 2003, two brothers and I put the first coat of paint on the inside garage walls. The walls have needed a second coat for 21 years. Who wants to volunteer to help with these domestic projects?